life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
