We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
