I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
