Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize