So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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