So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
