I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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