watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
