I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
