I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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