Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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