guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
