dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
