i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
