dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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