I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
