oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
