just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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