were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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