He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
