Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
