she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
