Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
