he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
