I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
