Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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