My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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