Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm just crazy horny about you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
