we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize