i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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