she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were trust falling into bushes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
