PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
