Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
