Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
