I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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