Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am spending my child support on dildos
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't put those talents on a resume
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
