I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
