video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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