Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
