Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
