I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
