they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
