Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
