Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
tell me about the fingering
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