Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
