Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
