dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
