we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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