I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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