Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
