i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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