I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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