I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
