Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
