Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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