I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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