Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
